World's First AMDTI-Force/FX 12000 Video Card Review!!
Boy O Boy today is the day of reckoning for the video card market.
Tired of those expensive cards that are only sometimes marginal performance gain? Well check this card out as it will "BLOW ANY" competition away at a fraction of the cost.
$299 for the new AMDTI-Force/FX 12000. That's right. Wait till you see this review and decide for yourself.
Before I get to involved I want to give credit to my team that helped put this amazing thing together. I want to personaly thank Pat "Cannon-Fodder" Grangmang because this fellas has REALY helped alot on identifying components. Also very much thanks to Bill "The Major" Minordawgger, Merly "The Squeeks" Woody, Rob (The Poison) Ivo, Tony (The Chow) Shao, Mike "The New Guy" Durbster, Ted (The Green Mile) Coffee and last but not least one of my Old and best pals that has helped me work on many projects for this site. His name is non other than Rob "The Lord Kroe Homie" HardO. Thanks pals and I hope the rest of you enjoy this ubber fantastic review!
Today we will delve into the world of CPU makers making GPU's. What an oustanding concept. What other better way to get the most from your system then someone that can already make killer CPU's? Anyhow lets take a look at this Genuine "Engineer Sample" card and see what kind of horses it has. Thanks AMDTI!
The Specs are seriously redicously, outrageously, crazy BUT man does it pack a serious serious serious punch!
... This thing looks promising ...
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This is the world's first look into the future as it will be backwards compatible to all AGP owners of previous boards. Of course there will be some performance hit but overall the brand newly introduced "AGP 2 Express" will be the king for quite some time for all computer users. This new technolegy also packs the future graphics of Direct X 12. That's right. AMDTI Knew in advance that DX11 will be a few years behind so they worked feverously to get more advanced in as little time as possible.
AMDTI's new 25nm Architecture also surprised the realm with outstanding cooling methods as well as major cooling efficiency that defies any other product on the market including CPU's. This new technology has taken AMDTI's team nearly 12 years of research and extreme man hours that resulted in a "ground breaking" product and unmatch by ANY other computer product to date.
Lets look at the pix of this beast and see what she has in stock for us eh!
... Crazy Crazy Craaazy Specs ...
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AMDTI has set totaly new standards and goals that all other competitors are certain to not be able to reach in many years. The 12000 core is unmatched in features, technology and performance. The 8800GTX (Currently the crowned champion of all video graphics) uses 150 watts of power. The AMDTI-Force/FX 12000 only uses 75watts of total power. That is a milestone in the right direction for keeping GPU's running cool and effiently. Also with AMDTI's core using the 25nm core instead of the 90nm that is currently champion, this new chip will be able to perform as well as any quad core gpu running at the same specs. This new technology will assure the victory crown for years if not decades to come. Outstanding.
... Nice. The heatspreader that the AMDTI-Force/FX 12000 uses is very close to the Intel P4 Socket 775 spreader. There are many resemblances to an actualy CPU spreader...
Enough about all this stuff. Lets just see exactly how bad this card is. I do want to forwarn that you MUST hold on with Both hands and do "NOT" blink, sneeze, fart, burp, sleep, stand, sit, talk or even think of moveing before you read these incredible and ubber outrageous benchmarks that will absolutetly be ground breaking in all areas of life!!!!
ON TO THE BENCHMARKS SHALL WE? :):):)
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Ok we were so blown away by this product that we needed to "SEE" this card in action before we show the pictures of this thing. Below all I can say is "eh!". :)
Our first benchmarks are...... well..... gasp.. thats about all anyone could even say. Amazeing is just not a strong enough word to say when you see these.
... Incredible!!! ...
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... Unreal!!! err I mean Doom :) ...
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... How the?!?!?! ...
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... What the?!?!?! ...
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This game "The Rankor Killers" ships with this awesome card! When we ran this game with the other cards it did run fairly well overall. In fact it ran it so good that we wondered how could this card run it that good at all. Until we saw it for our own eyes we would not have believed it. Seeing and Hearing is believeing. You just have to experience this yourself.
... Good Lord Man!!! ...
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This card weighs nearly 3 pounds. It not only has weight but its solid all the way around. The capacitors, diodes and other components appear visually stun people from the get-go. But fear not, this card can be run and used by all folks. Take a gander at the Dicyferoan Caps. These are "to date" the biggest caps to EVER come on a video card. This thing takes serious power to jump start.
With the AMDTI's QuadOratik Risc CG-PU 12000 you can nearly say goodbye to all the other system components. Packed with the brand new "AGP2 Express" interface, this baby shapes up more than quite nicely against "ANY" competitive card on the market for several years to come!
Check er out eh!
... The shear size of this beast can distraught even the more than avid computer builder/user. Again fear not as this card is so easy to install and configure...
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For the first look on the back of this card and you might think, "Is this the front or back?". But I assure you this is in fact the back of this card. It does house a PGA Socket 478 PIV Cpu. This one came with the 3.0Ghz cpu upgradeable to 3.4. Of course the 3.0 is near max anyway. I was simply amazed at how they could combine such power houses like this. With the Dual AMDTI and PIV CPU's, we are able to run all games to there max performance. Some games simply run better on one platform over the other. What better way to increase the Optimization levels than to add the best of both worlds?
With the introduction for the first time on a computer component (Previously intended only for Nasa and there lander moon shuttle project) the new Dual Ceramic Interocitor Filters, Highband Frequency Accellorators and the enfamous Fisyfious BySyferoan, we are able to achive extreme clocks, performance and even low power consumption.
One of the more major upgrades is the fact of Upgradeable Madolar Kipatic Ram (MKR) which is 3gigs of Ram running @ 2400Mhz DDR5. (Onboard is DDR5 @ 2100Mhz "4200 Effective" memory). This allows texture storeing on cards with game profiles so it makes your favorite games load lighting fast with virtualy no wait whatsoever.
... Once this card takes off it will take the competition quite some time to catch up if they can catch up at all before the next versions are released ...
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In this view we can clearly see what makes this Bohemeth a big reason why it is today, the best, fastest and best looking card all the way around. The "Crono-synklastic Enfadebulum" is a major piece and reason for this review. This conjunction was hard to come by because the only place in our solar system to obtain the material we needed was not on this earth at all. In fact the only place you can get this type of material is from our Moon. That's right. This engeniuc structure is made from real time "Moon Partical Dust" and before this year, we were only able to get this from our moon. Well now we actualy manufature this product in a "Artificial Moon Partical Dust" which we can control even more with today's technology.
Perhaps one of the most groundbreaking features is that AMDTI has installed Dual Coin Battery Backup's so even on a reboot your games are stored in the Madolar Kipatic Ram (MKR) which allows for instant game load and game play. This can realy increase your overall fraggage time/play. These batteries have a shelf life of 600 years so they will "never" need to be replaced. Even if one went out, the other one is there for emergency game play.
The "Inductive Resistance Oscillators" are one of the precautionary moves towards assureing our gamers that they will have a playable game. If a game simple runs to fast, this feature will fine tune your system to run at the right frames that are optimal for the overall best gameplay experience. The Oscillations are monitored automatically so you can play with confidence. Of course over at AMDTI we understand that the true hardcore gamer/player wants "full" control of all features anre we have enbedded an award bios with full optimal and total control that can very easily be manipulated through software in your windows as well from within its own bios. This is a very handy option and should totaly enhance your experience to the maximum and potential.
... With so many features, don't be afraid that this card will be held up and slowed down. This card can handle even more features but as it appears there are no reason to just get crazy with features. This card will pan out to be the best experience and absolutely the best bang for the buck you, as the consumer, could ever as for or want from a card and manufacturer ...
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From this angle you can clearly see the PIV Socket and Cor under the "Dedicated (MKR) back Restrictor Plate". This assures that your CPU will run very cool and continue to run rock solid stable.
... One thing that needs to be addressed is the fact that this card is relatively short in length for the features that comes with this. This acutally leaves room for future advancements and graphic achievements. We will just have to see ...
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Nothing more here other than the Inductive Resistance Oscillators. Oh except the fact that this board come with an onboard "10 phase AudrinOX Surround Sound Generator" which will ensure nothing more than rich, smooth and extreme "real" time sound performance and quality. Nothing will sound closer to realism than haveing this realtime. To date, no other manufacturer has even broken the dirt of enovation quite like this beauty. You simple have to "see" the sounds to believe them.
... The only drawback is the fact you can only run Dual monitors on this dog without the extra "Dual-Band Monitor Spam Array" which can be purchases separately as an external device that plugs directly into the feed for crisp, clear and simple massive video quality ...
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Well...... There's not many times I am up in the air about a product but I got to say that until you see this card for yourself and with your own eyes, it is simple just unbelieveable. Clearly this card is 10 or more years advanced and ahead of its time!
P.S. Next will be the DUAL AMDTI-Force/FX 12000 In SLI!!!! yeah baby yeah!!!!!
Until next time folks, be safe and have a gooden eh! :)
JJMAN
Here is a pix of it being on newegg.com!!!! Check it out eh!
p.s. IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR then you would KNOW by now this is totally a joke. I have never seen anyone get mad at my silly mod's before until today when some people accused me of spam and for posting it there at all. It's a joke and meant completely for fun only. If you are mad right now, I DONT CARE :) Well I care but at least just lighten up good lord. There now get a friggen grip, a clue, some common sense and just try and smile at this mod instead of trying to be a sissy about it. :):):):)
"I WOULD LIKE TO THANK TheGreatGrapeApe from over at TomsHardware for makeing this such a fun and popular review. He really helped push it out to the world as fast as it went. THANKS!"
If you enjoyed this review, look at the list of other sites that have listed this in there forums as well.
http://www.jjman.org/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=49&forum=1&post_id=105#forumpost105
Also if you dont want to load up 80 other forum sites then here is a compilation of quotes from multiple sites that I think you might enjoy!
http://www.jjman.org/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=51&forum=1&post_id=114#forumpost114
I have decided to include a Certificate of Authenticity with this product. GOOD LUCK!
Also PLEASE if you did enjoy this feature review, please pass it on to your pals without telling them it is in fact NOT REAL and this review is in fact FAKE. Help pass the fun and excitement eh. :)
JJMAN.org
ONE LAST TIME!!!
The card is real. I built it myself using all kinds of parts from whatever I could find and soldered them to this video card. The benchmarks are NOT REAL and the card does NOT WORK. This is just a GAG POST but its intended to make someone Smile and or Laugh at the pictures of this silly looking card. Enjoy :)
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